Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
