If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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