I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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