nut hugger
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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