a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
