belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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