every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
