There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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