We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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