you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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