i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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