Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
