What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
