I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
