You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
