look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How naked do you want me to be?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
