Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
