Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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