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You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
