Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
