I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
