she takes plan B like it's going out of style
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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