I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
