He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
