We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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