you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
