so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Watching her eat just hurts me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm getting married
To pizza
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
