they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
