Well douche your snatch and let's go!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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