I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
