Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
