Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
