he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
