This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
