You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
