Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
