He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
