Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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