before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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