I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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