My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
