the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
