the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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