This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
