why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
PANTIES FOUND
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