Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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