Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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