oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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