college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
