and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
