Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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