How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
